Dear Mr. or Mrs. Military Spouse

I've never faced the struggles of a military spouse, and don't presume to fully understand the complexity of that way of life.  However, I've watched and listened as loved ones and friends have faced all of the ups and downs that come along with the job, and thought I'd write this open letter. This if for all of those men and women who don't always get the shout-out they deserve. 

Dear Mr. or Mrs. Military Spouse,

I have these questions I’d like to ask you:

*How did you manage to pack up the entire house, and move from place to place WITHOUT THE HELP OF YOUR SPOUSE, not once, not twice, but as many as 10 times? 

*How have you been able to create a functional home for your family over and over within a budget and without always having a say about where exactly you'd live? 

*Who have you needed to lean on for emotional support when you've been sick or hurt, or have been facing stress from your own job? 

*How did you cope with the news from your daughter’s Sunday School teacher that she broke down in tears during prayer about how much she missed her Mom or Dad who's deployed? 

*What did you do when you got a call from your school about a child's behavior and realized you'd have to handle it alone?

*How do you and your spouse maintain a marriage when you have limitations that most couples never face?

*How have you dealt with insensitive comments or presumptions about your role as a military spouse?

*How hard is it to spend anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and even births without your spouse?

*How do you get through a night of worry when you fear your loved one might be in harm’s way, but you can't hear their voice assuring you of their safety?

*How tightly did you and your husband or wife hold each other when you were finally face to face after a 9 month-long deployment?

*What gifts and joys come with the title of "military family" that we don't understand? 

My last question for you is the most important one, but begins with an imperative and emphatic statement you need to hear:

Thank you for your service to our country! Your sacrifice, faith, and resilient love is a beautiful form of service and lightens a world that is so often filled with darkness.  I know that we still understand so little about how to support the families that have sacrificed so much, partly for our country's sake. So I ask you, Mr. or Mrs. Military Spouse, What can we do to help?

We at Flooring Direct Temecula love to serve families by contributing to creating beautiful and functional homes.  This month, as we approach the Veteran's Day Holiday, we'd like to shine a spotlight on some of our most beloved families, because we believe the ones who "stay home" to hold down the fort, are also heroes themselves!

By Michelle Norris

Our Thoughts on "DIY Tile-Jobs"

Last weekend, on one of our local radio stations, a well known DIY-advocate encouraged homeowners to simply purchase a $150 tile-saw in order to cut their own porcelain tile and lay it themselves.  We've spent 30 years in the tile and stone trade, and here's why we think the average home owner would benefit from a professional.  

1. Assuming that you aren't tiling a small, perfectly square and level space, without fixtures or appliances to work around, measuring and cutting tile requires an extreme amount of accuracy and planning.  If your layout is even 1/16th of an inch off, by the time you get to the other side, your room can turn out looking sloppy and completely out of square. With enough small mistakes, you won't be proud of the overall look.  

2. Each type of material requires a unique type of adhesive and grout - not to mention different cutting and laying techniques that pertain to certain types of stone and tile.  In our experience, even the brand of adhesive that you choose to do the job can completely sabotage your project. Remember, when you are paying an experienced worker, you are paying for the expertise they've spent years acquiring.  

3. This $150 saw that is supposed to be the key to your dream kitchen may end up causing you serious problems. That is a lot of money to spend on a tool, but the type of saw that an experienced installer uses is more to the tune of 700-1000 big ones! These cheaper saws may do just fine when cutting small pieces for your home projects, but when it comes to thick stone, you need an extremely sharp and powerful instrument for precise and clean cuts.

PLEASE don't use any saw, no matter the price without getting safety instructions from a professional. 

4. The cost of hiring a professional could easily be exceeded by the cost you could potentially incur if something goes wrong, or if you end up needing to buy more material to start over. A professional installer should be able to easily lay down 250 ft of tile in one day while a homeowner could take an entire day and barely cover 50 ft. It's so disappointing when we gain a customer after they've already spent hundreds of dollars on a failed DIY attempt. 

We love a good DIY project, but when it comes to doing a major flooring job throughout your home, you really need to ensure that the installation is structurally-sound and actually enhances the look of your space. If you don't have tile experience and you still decide to do your own installation, we would advise that you at least pick the brain of a licensed professional installer about what materials you should buy.  

For more Flooring Tips, follow Flooring Direct Temecula on instagram, Facebook, and here on Blogger, or feel free to call us anytime!   (951) 777-6821

5 Ways Flooring Stores Are Ripping You Off

5 Ways Flooring Stores Are Ripping You Off

In a sea of big box retailers and flooring businesses in your city, it can be overwhelming deciding which one will actually give you the best value, especially when they are all offering various discounts and promotions.  With 30 years of experience in the field, Flooring Direct Temecula breaks down the ways many of these "special promotions" are a little less special than they may seem. 

1. Unhelpful Warranties 

When a flooring company offers you a twenty-five year warranty, you're probably assuming that your laminate is going to be protected at no extra charge for a quarter of a century.  It's just not that simple. Many flooring warranties merely guarantee the "water resistant" quality of their product, but they offer no protection when it comes to household pets scratching up your floors, or major stains left by children or family members.  It's far more likely that a child will scratch your laminate with his toy truck in the next few years than it is that you will have serious flooding. Make sure that you read your warranty thoroughly to make sure that it offers you the protection you need and don't accept a higher price merely because the floors come with a warranty. 

2. Deceptive Advertising 

A well-known TV ad promises to "carpet your entire home for the cost of only one room!". Another offers free installation with the purchase of a specific flooring product. Having spent time working closely with these companies in the past, we can tell you that more often than not, these promotions go hand-in-hand with massive mark-ups on either the materials or the labor. Remember, no one works for free... 

3. Hidden Up-Charges 

Companies know that once they can get an installer in your home, delivering the flooring you've been waiting for, you're much more likely to accept last-minute fees and charges than if you'd known in the beginning. In large box stores, they will actually include (in small print), a statement saying, "there may be additional charges". More often than not, the installer will find more reasons to add charges to your final bill.  Before you sign off on a deal, ask if you should expect additional charges and request clarification on what types of scenarios might require unexpected costs.  

4. Unskilled labor

You likely assume that if you're buying from a respectable flooring company, your flooring will be installed by licensed professionals. Unfortunately, it's more common than you think that companies will use unlicensed installers or handymen rather than using professional flooring installers. Be sure to ask your sales rep. if all of their installers are licensed and even try asking for the name of your installer ahead of time, so that they understand your concern for the quality of the job. 

5. Sales Reps with Little or No Knowledge About Flooring

Not to name any names, but we've all seen those TV commercials from big-name home improvement stores.  They tell you that they are filled with "experienced associates who can answer all of your important questions!". While there are always exceptions, we all know that many employees in these stores are either too young to have any experience with home renovation or they are simply uneducated in proper procedures and quality.  Avoid getting advice at these major retailers, and instead, try out a local flooring store, where you'll likely find men and women who specialize in flooring and have the experience to vouch for their knowledge. 

If you're in the So-Cal area, check out Flooring Direct Temecula.  We'll give you the best value in town without all of the gimmicks. Read some of our reviews on Yelp and our website!  

Follow our blog at flooringdirectthoughts.blogspot.com

A Dining Room Departure

Have you noticed that in the last decade or so, dining rooms have become a thing of the past?  Doesn't it seem like most newer homes or home remodels are trading in their dining spaces for open floor plans and stream-lined layouts? 

Long before Joanna and Chip, I began noticing this trend and  even knew of friends who were trying to restructure their living spaces to find other alternatives for their dining rooms, simply because their dining rooms were never used. Never. The dining room table was replaced by the kitchen island and formal meals at a large table have been becoming a thing of the past ever since.

I’m sure that this sounds like an exaggeration and that I’m showing my age as I reminisce about the things of the past I miss so much, like handwritten letters and work ethic and formal family dinners in dining rooms.  However, it’s not the great rooms and open spaces I’m opposed to. I adore Chip and Joanna Gaines and the wonderful Fixer Upper age they and others like them have created, as I believe we share the same values about our families  and creating beautiful homes for them. 

It’s the idea of a family around the dinner table, minus the t.v. and phones that I miss and yes, I will admit that with that “idea”, I’m actually missing my own children being young. Having this dinner time with them daily, was the chance for both my husband and I to hear about their days at school, how their history teachers were instructing them about politics, who their friends were, and what music they were listening to. We got to hear the details of their lives and we did this after saying grace together. Did I mention that we did this every single day? We had to fight against sports schedules and band directors and homework and sometimes even our own work schedules to make this meal time a priority and by the grace of God, more often than not, we were victorious. I believed with my whole heart, in my favorite quote by my favorite President: “All great change in America begins at the dinner table.”- Ronald Reagan. Call me silly, romantic, idealistic; but I still believe this just as much today. 

I was reminded of all of this when I read an excerpt from a favorite author of mine: Shauna Niequist in her book, Bread & Wine:  “... I want you to stop running from thing to thing to thing, and to sit down at the table, to offer the people you love something humble and nourishing, like soup and bread, like a story, like a hand holding another hand while you pray. We live in a world that values us for how fast we go, for how much we accomplish, for how much life we can pack into one day. But I’m coming to believe it’s in the in-between spaces that our lives change, and that the real beauty lies there.”

So whether you have a brown table under a chandelier in a separate maroon painted room filled with your brown hutch and brown chairs, or you have a modern picnic table out in the open between your kitchen and family room, I say, turn off the tv and phones, and eat dinner together; habitually. More importantly than the house trends we try to keep up with, we need to keep alive the trend of regrouping, away from the noisy world we live in, so that we can continue to love, listen to, and learn from one other, thereby equipping each other to get back out there... refreshed and re energized. I think this is the way a family flourishes and changes the world together. 

MINIMALISM: HAVE WE GONE TOO FAR?

You may or not know what a fan I am of the Minimalism Trend.  I believe strongly in the idea that "less is more", have found an unspeakable amount of freedom in simplicity, and consider mere clutter to be one of my greatest enemies (yes, many melt downs of pent up fury have happened in my household, manifesting themselves in my angrily stuffing paperwork piles into trash bags, throwing objects out from under children's beds and pulling clothing item after clothing item out of closets  which haven't been worn in years). A favorite movie scene of mine, is the one from “Up in the Air” where  George Clooney is packing his suitcase for his next business trip and describing the joy he experiences from the systematized world of traveling he lives in: 

https://youtu.be/Gj_5Pgy-eVQ

When I first saw that movie, and that scene in particular, I realized I have that same love of traveling, particularly flying all by myself, in that for a very short amount of time, I can live in this fantasy that I'm not bogged down by any "stuff" whatsoever because everything I need for my own care can be contained in a small suitcase with wheels, and I'm ready with my driver's license and/or boarding pass in hand to move freely and quickly from Point A to Point B, with little of life's baggage to slow me down.  Again, FREEDOM.

I've observed this new Millennial generation making the same types of minimalist lifestyle choices ranging from their abandonment of cable TV and other high dollar frivolity, choosing Instagram over Facebook as they say more by posting less, choosing to spend money on "experiences" over material things, to their alternative "tiny house" living.   However, with that last example, I can't help but wonder what GOOD things will be lost, if this movement of dare I say, “self-centered” living with only the bare minimum, continues to become more widespread, specifically with the concept of hospitality and/or giving.

While I've always fought against allowing materialism to creep into my life and my family's, I do hold close to my heart, the value of giving, which sometimes means buying and sending an extra snack in your child's backpack in case another kid in his class forgets theirs, and sometimes means buying a new comforter and sheets, and expensive Downey softener for guests who may come to visit, and stay in your "frivolous" guest room that you may only use half the time you're alive, at best.  It sometimes means paying for a larger vehicle even if you only have one or two children, for all the times that their friends will be in the carpool or you'll be driving them around town like the taxi cab you never knew you'd become.  It sometimes means that you'll stock your fridge with vegetarian items or a junk food item or two, or extra bottles of wine you really don't need, just so you have them on hand when that beloved guest walks into your home.  Sometimes the fresh flowers from Costco and the scented Yankee candles are just the "extras" that make your own family feel like they're so happy, even relieved to be home, away from an often challenging outside world.

I'm 50 years old, so of course I see the world differently at my age than Millenials do.  I don't long to travel alone on airplanes to far away places nearly as much as I long to have my grandson running around my house, or to have a house full, all my loved ones around the table for a Holiday meal or just because.  I STILL wish I had a bigger “comfier” home to bless them with, yet I can take a lesson from the wise 20 and 30 somethings who have enough student loan debt that they have responded with "No thank you," when it comes to incurring MORE debt and living beyond their means. I will not stop utilizing the small home I do have, splurging as I can for any opportunity which presents itself to show hospitality and give to those in need.  Yet I will continue to purge as I can.

 Maybe when you tackle some spring cleaning in the near future, you’ll realize that it’s also the perfect time to replace your dingy, dated flooring and take a lesson from the minimalist: a clean slate and a beautiful foundation to build a simple yet warm space where love and hospitality reside. You can never go too far with those kinds of precious “basics”! Call us at Flooring Direct Temecula TODAY!!

By Michelle Norris

Conquering My Fear Of Home Design

There are dozens of skills I felt I had to magically cultivate when I became a wife. When I thought of the wives and mothers I looked up to in my adolescence, I felt in awe of all of the aspects of life they were able to hold together - managing family meals, cleaning, volunteering at school or church, budgeting, handling bills, organization, hospitality, and investing in familial relationships. But above all of those undertakings, the one that I feared the most was home design.

From a young age, I always felt a deficiency when it came to cultivating aesthetic beauty. In grade school, I’d longingly gaze at the other girls’ color-coded, well organized history notes, while covering my own sloppy scribbles with my school folder. My locker was messy and dull while most girls seemed to have a color-schemed locker adorned with a glittery mirror, lip gloss holder, and a fresh scent of fruit mist from Bath and Body works. Even in College, I kept a relatively simple dorm room mostly decorated with pictures of my friends and family, while the ones across the hall had patterned rugs, coffee tables, and cozy chairs. I felt haunted by this cultural assumption that girls ought to naturally care more about design and organization than boys. And while I appreciated pretty colors and organized spaces as much as anyone, creating beautiful things never came easy, and it always felt like a shot to my femininity.

Mine and My Husband’s First Apartment Together

So, when I realized that I’d be renting my first apartment with my soon-to-be husband, I felt an urgency to become the girl I always wanted to be - the one with the pristine History notes and cozy dorm room. Unfortunately for me, my personality also comes with stubbornness and a fair helping of pride, so I didn’t plan on asking anyone for assistance with this part of my life. I would transform all by myself…in a matter of a few months. I quickly found that I couldn’t simply buy my way into a beautiful home. No amount of trips to Ikea could teach me how to create functional spaces that worked for my family. No magazine could magically gift me with the instincts to know where to put my couch or what shade of carpet would go well with my furniture. What a relief it was to finally be honest with my husband one night about the pressure I was feeling and hear him say,
“I don’t care if you know how to pick out curtains! That’s not why I love you. We’ll figure it out together.”

I had to come to terms with the fact that unlike others, home-decorating just doesn’t fuel an inner fire for me, and this fact does not make me a deficient woman, wife, or mother. Just because I don’t get a burst of endorphins while scrolling through a Pinterest board, doesn’t mean I can’t have a home I’m proud of. See, I adore sitting in my colorful living room, when everything’s in its place, and there’s a candle burning on my mantle. I truly desire to live in a beautiful home. The process however, is not something I have to go through on my own. I wasn’t able to truly love my space until I requested help from those who really do love the journey of home design. I realized that I do have a style and vision - I just need the assistance of others to make my ideas realities.

I’ve been married for a few years now, have had a baby, moved four times, and I am only now beginning to feel content with our home design aesthetic. Our house feels like a reflection of my family’s personal style, functional needs, and even our held values. I cherish our time spent at home, partly because of the beauty I now enjoy.

With the acceptance of my own gifts as a woman, has come the freedom from the lie that we women have to be “the whole package” to be worthy of love and admiration. I bet those girls with the bedazzled lockers would love to help me pick out throw pillows for my bed, and I’d sure love to give them a book recommendation or teach them how to make enchiladas. If we were all good at everything, then maybe we wouldn’t know the joy that comes from relying on each other and using the strengths we have to better another person’s life. Let’s drop the facades and have the courage to ask for help when we need it.

Dawnielle Carr

5 Things Our Mother-In-Laws Might Say Over The Holidays

5 Things Our Mothers Might Say Over The Holidays

(And Some Tips To Repair Our Self-Esteem)

1.  "You changed the carpet again?! Your father and I had the same carpet for 30 years!"

We all know someone who’s always griping about the rising costs of today’s products. And… they have a point.  At Flooring Direct, we believe that by purchasing quality materials up front, you save money in the long run. Don’t settle for cheap carpet that will be ruined in 1 year! Get something that will impress your mother-in-law for many years to come.

2.  “Take my shoes off?! This isn’t Japan, you know?!" 

In many places in the world, guests remove shoes before entering the home, without even having to be asked.  This can be a lovely tradition, but if it’s not your cup of tea, we can find beautiful carpet in colors that won’t have you sweating when your loved ones come stomping on in! 

3.   “Well, I suppose you have to save pennies somewhere…”

If you’ve got a mother in law with expensive taste, then you know the pressure of trying to host her while staying on a budget. The first step is accepting that living within your means is one of the most tasteful things a family can do! Lucky for you though, Flooring Direct beats nearly all major flooring stores in Southern California. After we transform your space, you’ll be the apple of that woman’s eye! 

4.  “When I was young, we never dreamed of letting our dogs in the house!”

For those of us who are pet-lovers, we don’t want to sacrifice quality time with our animals just to keep our floors spotless. If that’s you, then we have a selection of gorgeous carpets specially formulated to disguise pet odor. Then, no matter how many furry friends you have walking around, the only comments you’ll hear about smells will be about the cherry pie baking in the oven!

5.  "My goodness, these floors are gorgeous!!"

Let’s face it, many of us were blessed with wonderful mother-in-laws that love us no matter what! The holidays are all about about celebrating with gratitude and hope, so no matter the state of our floors, we should all endeavor to bring this kind of positivity to whatever homes we’ll be in this season!